I'm a protective mother. I try not to be overly protective...but it doesn't always work.
One of the hardest parts of going through my divorce has been letting go of that over protectiveness when they aren't with me.
I got the call Saturday afternoon. Myles was crying (that something is really wrong cry) and his father was explaining that he had fallen at a birthday party and they were going to the ER for x-rays.
My heart stopped. I had to remind myself not to yell at his dad, that these things happen, and if it had been my weekend we would have been at the same birthday party.
I was a couple of hours away from home. I had forgotten my phone charger. My battery was low. If I headed back and it was a simple break it would be over when I got there, if it was broken at all. His dad didn't indicate how bad he thought it was, not that I would have listened.
I simply told him, "let me know when you find something out. Thank you for letting me know."
And I waited. (And got a charger for my beloved iPhone.)
It was broken.
And required surgery.
I was on my way. And hopeful that the broken plans didn't bother anyone too much.
I may have set a land speed record on the way home. I did have the presence of mind to call my boss. When I explained everything she said,"Who worries about Monday right now, you're in crises?!?"
I didn't really get it. Not then.
She stayed on the phone with me until I was near the hospital. She asked questions and got me thinking about things I hadn't thought of in my flustered state of mind.
When I arrived, the world stopped outside of that room. My daughter had been picked up by my mom and was on her way. Everything else was unimportant.
Myles went into surgery about an hour after I got there.
If I hadn't been completely there, completely in the moment, even though it was a moment I didn't want to be in, I would have missed so much.
I would have missed the fear and sadness in my daughters eyes when she sat on his bed and held his hand.
I would have not noticed the way his left toe wiggled in his sleep when the pain started to come back.
I would have missed how much my family did for us while we were there.
I would have not noticed or appreciated the bag of "comfort items" my friend delivered to me, which included food because she knew I wouldn't have eaten, and the toothbrush and toothpaste I had forgotten with my charger.
And Saturday night, after everyone but my ex-husband and I had left the hospital, I would have not noticed that my ex-husband was sitting across the room with his phone and iPod and hadnt looked up for over an hour...until his battery died.
I offered him my charger, I didn't need it.
