Getting Over the "B" Word

The "B" word...Yep, it's a bitch.

It comes once a year to remind me all that I haven't accomplished and all that I'm not. I can't remember actually celebrating the day of my birth since I turned 16. Sure, there were dinners and cakes on April 21st every year after my "sweet sixteen"...but I mean really celebrating.

The kind of celebration that comes from genuine joy, gratitude, and acceptance.

So, with some coaching from the lovely Andrea Maurer , I have decided that I am going to have a fabulous birthday. I'm going to let go of the irrational fear of someone knowing my age. I have no expiration date and the things I have done, or not done, do not define me.

I am something more than some damn number....and to prove to myself that I deserve to celebrate my presence on this planet, here are 30 reasons I am celebrating, one for every year I've been a student to the universe:

1.       I believe that everything will line up. Always. Perfectly.

2.       I am no longer willing to wait for happiness to start.

3.       I am blessed with two amazing, beautiful, little humans who have pushed me to survive the darkest of dark days.

4.       I have the ability to create my own happiness.

5.       I can, and I was created to, follow my heart, my soul, and my dreams.

6.       I don’t have to stop dreaming…ever.

7.       I have parents that don’t always agree with my opinion, or my choices, but will love me anyway.

8.       I choose to believe that I am enough. I am good enough, smart enough, and pretty enough. Always and in every situation.

9.       I can ask for help and still be enough.

10.   I understand what faith is.

11.   I have been to my personal hell and made it back, better than ever.

12.   I am not defined by my body, my bank account, or my actions.

13.   Every negative situation I have been in has led to something of absolute perfection.

14.   I am a work in progress.

15.   I am exactly where I should be.

16.   I choose to be overwhelmed to the point of near paralysis by the feelings of love, gratitude, and acceptance rather than fear, guilt, and shame.

17.   I am guided by cosmic forces unseen, but felt so strongly.

18.   I choose to love my spirit.

19.   I am not, nor do I need to be, perfect, right, or even graceful.

20.   I have made peace with not knowing the outcome of every step I take.

21.   I am grateful and happy with what I have.

22.   I am so excited about, grateful for, and looking forward to all the things I don’t have yet.

23.   I have the ability to love…fully, truly and unconditionally love myself and others.

24.   I am flawed in the ways I am meant to be flawed.

25.   I will continue to heal, learn, and grow…even when it hurts.

26.   I understand there is no finish line, just a great journey.

27.   I am grateful for every moment I spent in my hell and how sweet it makes everything feel now.

28.   I have the most amazing, supportive, beautiful friends ever.

29.   I have learned how to trust myself and navigate my way to the right path every time.

30.   I am empowered in every way I once thought I wasn’t.

And as if those reasons weren't enough....I am one year closer to wearing red with purple, high heels with track suits, dunking cheese balls in Pepsi as if it is a gourmet meal for breakfast, and not giving a damn what anyone else thinks about it. Gotta love that!